This was to be a landmark weekend. On Saturday a race distance swim, followed by a long bike ride and race distance run on Sunday. This would decide my racing future. After a rest day in Friday I was set for the workout binge. Or so I thought. I woke up on Saturday with a sore throat. Literally a pain in the neck!
And then the struggle began. Go not go. For some people it’s a reverse struggle when the alarm rings and then there are a few hard core fools like me…
I want to swim, I need to swim, if not today, then, when? The whole plan will fall apart, this cold is a figment of my imagination, nothing will happen if I go, how can I NOT swim…
With each new thought and every breath synchronising with the throbbing of my head, I saw my meticulous plan unravelling. And with that I knew I would lose 10 days (this weekend and all of next week was off for work reasons and non negotiable).
With a heavy heart I cancelled my swim, thinking I will bike once I rest a bit, and went back to sleep. 3 hours of deep sleep and the bike ride was doomed. The cold had settled nice and proper. My heart sank to new depths.
It is like that feeling when you are locked into the 16 week Marathon training plan, and this is the speed workout of week 11. How can you NOT do it? That 10 x 800m is a key workout and your entire training will go bust if you skip this one! in reality, its nit such a big deal na- thats what the coach and your friends will say. But when we IN the moment we cannot really see it as such!
By evening the phone was buzzing to plan the hallowed Sunday long run. 24?21?33(!!!) and it broke my heart to say that I would (most likely(??) could not say an outright NO!) not join. Crestfallen, I slept early with the cold induced exhaustion. My eyes opened at 6.30 am and I rushed to the window to see who was out there. I could see a few running towards Worli and I crashed again. After 2 hours (18-20km done for most!) I was back to see all who had run how much. Yes, I was a stalker!
I spent my day in misery. But by 3 pm I realised how much I needed a quiet Sunday. My body needed the rest. And this was my body rebelling. So, ok. You win! And I started streaming my new (not so new actually, as it came out in 2000) favourite show “Curb your enthusiasm”. Ironic, isn’t it? Maybe it’s a lesson I need to learn.
We are not really in control of our lives. We have only today to do what we have to do. If it doesn’t happen we don’t have a choice but to accept it and move on.
So the weekend didn’t go as per plan.
So I’ve lost 10 days.
Such is life.
We need to remain flexible in our heads and accept it.
As Bruce Lee says,
Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.